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This guy goes into
his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his
mouth.
After a brief examination, the
dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your
mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on
earth have you been eating?"
"Well... the only thing I
can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four
months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called
it... and doctor, I'm talking DELICIOUS! I've never tasted
anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on
everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!"
"That's probably it,"
replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon
juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought
I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this
time."
"Why chrome?" the man
asked.
"Well, everyone knows that
there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
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A man doing market
research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with
three small children running around at her feet.
He said, "I'm doing some
research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She said, "Yes. My husband
and I use it all the time."
"And if you don't mind me
asking, what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex."
The researcher was a little taken
aback. He said, "Usually people lie to me and say that they
use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge.
But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty.
Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you
use it for sex?"
The woman said, "I don't
mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob
and it keeps the kids out."
Submitted by Andy Gettysburg,
Pa.
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